it's been a while since my last blog so I thought I would catch up and say.........nothing absolutely nothing has changed except that now I am in a huge amount of pain due to an old back injury and it looks like it ain't ever going to be alright again.
For those of you who don't know , about twenty years ago I was doing some film work on a low budget film called "We are Saxon" and I was one of the riders. I have been riding for many years and can pretty much handle most prancers.
The scene was a charge across an open field after a stag, just as I was at full gallop a hare jumped straight up in front of "Mandy" the mare I was riding and she went up flailing about.
I got tipped off and caught up in the stirrup, so was dragged a fair few yards, then she decided to stop. Her arse end went down and she just rolled over me.
This caused a few injuries, a fractured Pelvis and the main one which was three disrupted vertebrae at the base of my spine, not the Coxics but the lumbar region that was so painful.
I rested it and did what the doctor said I should do but it never healed right.
So every now and then I will find myself in some discomfort, this time however it is a right bastard. I can hardly move, can't walk far, sleep, stand, sit, lie down, nothing.
For instance, I had to go into town today a walk of a couple of miles I can easily do in forty five minutes. Today it took me two hours.
Been to a specialist and he has said there is very little he can do about it because of the age of the injury, so i'm fucked, whichever way I go. So I got a choice, do I just sit for the next five weeks and do nothing (that's what the doctor says) or do I just carry on.
I don't know who will read this but if anyone does and they don't know me. I am a very active person. A stunt man, actor, fight choreographer, anything that requires a bit of action I am the first chap to say "hey I can do that"
Now I know the right thing would be to rest, but, that ain't the best thing for me. That much time sat on my arse would drive me insane. I am already gnashing at the bit just wanting to do something constructive, anything, but this not being able to do anything is like a slow painful death to me.
Oh yeah and to top it all off, my best friend and housemate Hoppity is looking for a place to live, she has a viewing on Tuesday, so she might be gone in a few weeks.
I love her to bits, we have had some wild times together and it's busting me up to think I am going to be stuck in this house on my own again.
Oh it's alright. They leave, find someone else to be around, as they should. But I in think in the end they just break my heart. I just go on and be the happy chap, full of beans and wishing them well, when really all I want to say is "Please, just stay, don't go. I don't want to be on my own again...................................Yeah I know stupid isn't it. It's as it should be, it's just the way my life has always been.
Oh they always say "I promise to stay in touch and come and see you all the time" but that's not real, that's just what to say to make it easier .
I been down that road before, You see them regularly to start with, then it gets longer between visits and suddenly you ain't even getting a Christmas card anymore
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| Me and Hoppity, my best friend. |
The right thing to do would be to wish her all the luck in the world and hope she is happy and all that M'larky, and of course I do. It's just hard to see someone who you have been through some proper tough times with, leave, knowing that I am going to end up alone again.
Still I will be alright, I have to be.
Thanks for reading this and listening to me bang on about nothing that could possibly, remotely interest anyone lol.
